Last week I was at work, doing a monthly project that
requires me to work in our warehouse for the day doing an inventory of certain
product and then boxing them up to have them shipped. I had to move a box full
of something heavy from one table to another so all of the order was together.
I grabbed one of the guys, the shipper, who is thin and kind of spindly and
said “Can you do something manly for me?” He just looked at me and said “I’m
not very manly, but I can try.” I thought about that all afternoon, because
here I am: 5 ft tall, about 100 pounds and a guy told me he wasn’t manly. As if
I was somehow more manly than he was?!
Young men today are floundering, and I think I might know
why. Women are told they can do anything and so they do everything. I believe
it was Mandi (Catholic Newlywed) who had a post about letting your husband be
the man, and she hit it right on the head. In the wake of the sexual
revolution, women stepped out of the home and into the work world. But they
didn’t relinquish control. So men and women are equals, but men no longer have
a domain. Not saying I want all women back in the home taking care of the
babies. Some women (me included) would likely go stark raving mad if that were
to be their fate. But at least when women were in charge of the home they had a
clear domain. Men went out and made the money, women had the home and everyone
had a place. It might not have been as equal of a partnership as people claim
to have nowadays, but at least each partner took a role and went with it. Now,
women do both and men do…. What? They stay at home with mommy and daddy and expensive
gaming systems till they are out of college, then marry, and go out and make
half the money and on weekends play video games or watch hours of sports or
hang out with the guys while mom suffers from higher rates of stress and
depression than ever. Our men are stunted. And it’s our fault. We need to let
our men do something for goodness sake. Even if they are the ones that stay at
home with the kids all day. We need to let them be in charge of something so
that they can feel like they are providing value. I really believe that many
men today feel like they are replaceable. And they are, aren’t they? A woman
can have a career and no children. If she decides she wants children, she can
run down to her local sperm bank, pick out someone who is a doctor or has an
MBA and blue eyes and brown hair and create the perfect little human for
herself. She can have that baby and show it off like the newest handbag. Why
would you need a man? There are women out there, single moms, who have genuine
hardship and have to do it all. My mom was one of them. She had to be mom and
dad, and she tells me all the time that she wished she had done a better job of
it. Which is absurd because my mom was an amazing mother. She didn’t have a
choice. But all us married women out there, we do. We have husbands and
partners and fathers to our children. So why don’t we let them feed that need
in their brain to provide? |
| Guys. If you're not swooning, you're paying too much attention |
This is reflected in popular culture these days, too. I was
thinking about this after the re-release of Titanic, and then it was compounded
for me while listening to a podcast of Catholic Answers Live. Nowadays, the men
in movies tend to take the “feminine” role in the relationship, whereas the
women tend to take the “masculine.” The women are the pursuers, the ones who
feel trapped, the ones who make all the decisions. The men are typically oafs
or completely passive or both. Everything from sitcoms to Huggies
commercials show you how incompetent they are at practically everything. All
they do is sit around and drink beer and make a mess of things and they can’t
even change a diaper for goodness sake! And there is something to be said about the
fact that we never call men “men.” We call them “boys” and then “guys.” And it
never progresses from that. Men are perpetually teenagers and this is because
in a post-sexual revolution world, we don’t ask them to be any more. Gone are
the days when a man who had just graduated from high school had essentially 3
options: go to college, get a job and get married or get a job and get married
or join the armed services and get married. They were expected, at 18, to
figure out how they were going to provide for a family and they were pretty
much out on their own at that point. Girls would stay with their parents until
they were married. When I was looking at the 1940 census, I found my
great-great grandparents. They had one daughter, aged 28, still living with
them. She was a school-teacher, and I presume, unmarried and therefore still
under her parents’ jurisdiction. Nowadays, the feminists have decided that men
are incompetent and treat them as such. So guess what men do? They act
incompetent. They have decided that they use women for pleasure and so men do.
They have told men they are replaceable, or just not that important, and so
they aren’t. This attitude is prevalent in our mothers’ generation, so their
sons were raised this way along with their daughters. No wonder the modern
family is declining at a rapid rate and resembles something my great-great
grandparents would not even recognize. This infects everything in the world today. Birth control which was hailed by the 1960's women's "liberation" movement basically gave men a free pass to use a woman and take no responsibility for what happened. Many abortions happen after a woman is pressured by her boyfriend because we've conditioned men that we can be used for pleasure with no consequences. No one asks men to step up, and so they just...don't. If women claim that chivalry is dead,
it’s because the sexual revolution held a gun to it’s temple and executed it in
cold blood.
So men, I, as a woman (and hopefully speaking for my sisters
in Christ) am asking, nay DEMANDING that you step up. Women still want a man
who is manly. This doesn’t mean that you work on cars or watch sports all day.
No, we want a man who supports us as a woman, in whatever path we choose as
your partner, from stay at home mom to career mother. We want you to put your
family first and to provide for them, not just monetarily but by being an equal
partner with your wife and providing that solid foundation on which to build
the family unit. We want you to lead, because there are some times that we don’t
want to have to make all the decisions around here. It has been my experience
that when you hold people to a higher standard, they tend to rise to the
occasion. So, I am holding men-- young men in particular-- to a higher standard. We were made
for more, men and women, and now it’s time for the men to stop being guys and
start being men.
