One of the spiritual works of mercy is to admonish the
sinner, but we are also supposed to be charitable and loving, right? I know it’s
2am and so I don’t pretend that this
post is going to make much sense, but this is something that is really
troubling me (hence the 2am.) I hear all the time that we are to speak the
Truth even when the Truth is unpopular. Is this whole “don’t be judgmental”
thing coming from society? How can I speak the Truth when it is unpopular and
admonish the sinner without being “judgmental”? Isn’t just pointing out that
they live in sin a judgment, or, again, is that just society that says that?
I have some acquaintances (a couple) who used to be friends.
There are personal issues I have with them, but there are also moral ones. I
have actually had to cut myself off from them, but Hubbs is still involved.
Whenever I bring up something about how they are not living their lives
correctly and how that makes me uncomfortable, he always tells me I’m not
supposed to judge. I insist I am not judging, I am not saying they are bad
people or making any kind of prediction of where they are going in the
afterlife. But they are in mortal sin. I can’t just pretend that they are exempt
from being in mortal sin just because they aren’t Catholic or because Hubbs
likes them. It really… pisses me off that he constantly tells me I’m being
judgmental. He says that all I can do is be a good witness, but I have cut
myself off so I can’t do that anymore. I do sincerely hope that if I they think
I’m a bitch, they attribute it to me and not that I am Catholic.
But again, this brings me to my question: am I being
judgmental? My problems with this particular couple are more personal and less
moral, but the fact that there are personal problems make the moral ones feel
bigger than with other people. I know that I have made mistakes, the very same
mistakes that they are making, in fact. I know that I am not above sin. We are
fallen and we all sin. I know that. How do we admonish sinners, speak the Truth
and still be loving people in a society where no one will take responsibility
for anything they do and any kind of questioning of anything is judgmental or
intolerant? I don’t want my attitude to reflect badly on my faith (and I know
it will) but I also don’t want to be relativist or permissive about things I
know are wrong.
